Uncaging the Rage...

Rage. 
This little word seems to be all the rage nowadays.

No matter where we are or what we're doing, it seems we can simply tack this word along for an instant wave of nodding heads and general understanding by the public.

It all began with road rage. And perhaps our Russ and that hotel phone incident....

But somehow it's progressed to rail rage, bus rage, air rage, 4WD rage, bike rage, power walking rage,  supermarket rage, climate rage, telephone rage, politician rage,  soccer mum rage... and so the list goes on.

Why are we so angry? 

We're living in a Western world with all of life's little liberties and luxuries so seductively dangled in front of us - ironically, kind of like the rosary beads, Buddhist luck charms or miniature Korans that some choose to hang from their cars' rear vision mirrors in Sydney.

The majority of us have a roof over our heads at night, food in our stomachs and neither do we have guns being pointed at us before breakfast by government representatives. 
And yet, we allow ourselves to get up in arms about the most trivial of things that are happening in our own relatively private worlds. 

As I tap this out, I do realise that yes, even I, Miss Manners in the World, must plead guilty to letting the rage outside of its cage on an occasion or two - namely when my neighbours choose to start their piano practice at 10pm on a weeknight. 

But the concept of rage still confounds me on so many levels.

Why do people disrespect each other - particularly in small spaces?? Why can't or don't we consider situations from others' points of view?? Why am I surprised and angered every time I witness 'outrageous' behaviour??


Recently I watched a scene so pitiful unfold upon a busy Sydney street on a busy weekday morn - so pitiful that it spawned this particular rant, erm, blog. 

As a pedestrian, I was waiting patiently to cross at the traffic lights near a local hospital when I noticed a 40-something woman of sizeable proportions rather excitedly leap out of her 4WD  - her  ample cleavage exposed and heaving in a dress that was clearly more than a few sizes too small.
Engine still running, the woman's vehicle was leading a growing queue of traffic, also waiting for the green flash. (Instead, they now all apparently were getting a pink flash!)
I watched in disbelief as the woman waddled on foot into the middle of the lane and over to the elderly ethnic couple driving the large sedan angled behind her own... 
It was then I realised that both drivers were in that Mexican Stand-Off of modern times - the fight for the sole remaining on-street car park.

Fists were a-waving. Jaws were a-snapping. It was a scene that would have made Darwin proud.

Furious but not so fast - the traffic lights changed several times, and meanwhile, the queue of cars blocked behind the 4WD was now indeed stretching all the way back to the next block.  

Interestingly, bystanders began gathering in pockets around the site, each taking turns to offer an opinion on who was in the right. 

"Good on her - she should have it.... Goodonya, larv!!" shouted a middle aged woman from the kerb.  

"Look at what she's done - she's blocked the traffic, all for bloody park! She should be ashamed of herself," tut-tutted another. 

The suspense was palpable. 

A group of local workers on their way for their morning coffee had now become onlookers as were perhaps up to 30 others, probably taking a break from  or on their way to visit the hospital's patients.

I continued on my way and left them all, gaping and sipping lattes - somehow simultaneously - entranced by this very public spat of rage.

Only moments later, it hit me - this was yet another Seinfeld moment! 

For a television series 'about nothing', it sure had managed to capture a something about modern life so sharply that, now - more than a decade after its demise - there is potentially an episode in everyone's everyday - today!

I believe the 4WD woman could and should have handled this situation so differently....just as I freely confess that I believe I could and should manage my own personal day-to-day rages better.

In my opinion, this woman let the situation explode out of and beyond all borders of reason, and for what end?? To end her search for a car park.

It's at this stage that we must step back, pull our eyelids open and see the bigger picture - by weighing carefully the consequences of uncontrolled anger.

Ask and answer the questions yourself: 

• Am I prepared for the consequences of this anger?? 
• Where could this possibly lead?? Am I prepared for an audience - one that possibly  could include the police and lawyers??
• What example am I setting to others, especially children who may be witnessing this behaviour?? Do I want them to live in a world where everyone, and I mean every one, is free to express their anger physically and verbally??

And last but by no means least -  IS IT WORTH IT?? Is it REALLY WORTH IT??

Gandhi preached of the practice of Satyagraha - the search for truth through non-violence or passive resistance to confrontation. I wonder if this is still considered achievable in an overcrowded, increasingly selfish and compassion-fatigued world. Food for thought. 


For now though, the best I can hope for is this: as long as we all choose to live in our own private universes - together in the same universe - that we can take two minutes each to breathe and consider the above questions. Who knows - maybe even by the first breath, the rage too will have passed.

Cage your rage. Your reputation will thank you for it.