I was on a train home the other night, quietly listening to Bon Jovi at a respectful level on my ipod, when suddenly a booming male voice with an American accent interrupted and stomped all over the Jon Bon's."Yeah, it's me...
"Yeah, I'm on the train....
"Yeah, I'll be there in about five stops... What?? Really?? I don't know what's wrong with that kid. He's really gone off the rails..."
Now, this conversation struck me as rude for two reasons mainly.
First and foremostly, mobile phones may have made our world much easier to get in touch with others - but they've also made it a whole lot noisier too.
At least thirty other passengers were privy to this spontaneous call home, when it really only should have been involving two people - the caller and the recipient.
As intriguing as it was to hear that "he" had "really gone off the rails", I suspect that at the end of the working day - and nearing the middle of a tedious journey in a smelly, stuffy and overcrowded train carriage - none of my fellow passengers could really appreciate the content of this call.
Nor should they want to.
Why should they? Most, if not all, would have their own personal dramas to attend to at the end of their trip.
But for some reason, the caller - who, incidentally, was sitting directly behind me on the jam-packed upper floor - felt a need to share his personal conversation with everyone around him that afternoon.
There must be a moment of contemplation in every mobile phone user's mind over the potential privacy of their impending call....and whether or not the forthcoming conversation could disrupt those around them.
Perhaps, that moment of contemplation evaporates with the onset of a dial tone.
Perhaps it's a form of dementia. A yet-to-be-discovered symptom of mobile phone use. Radiation can do funny (and not-so-funny) things.
This particular 'phone home' moment also nicked me for another reason.
Call me intolerant, but for the time it took this deeply intellectual conversation to unfold, it might've served the caller better to simply send a text message to his loved one to advise of his approach.
"Honey, am on train. I'll be there in five stops. ROTFL. LOL."
There. Simple. Sweet. And said in less than five sentences, including additional complementary fluff and nonsense! (For those who are not yet familiar with the burgeoning language of Texts.... Textese...?? Textish....?? Textan?? ROTFL = Roll On The Floor Laughing. LOL = Laugh Out Loud)
Strangely, this whole saga made me think of that loveable alien visitor from the 1980s, ET, and ponder on whether he might've handled the situation of, indeed, 'phoning home' any differently in 2009.
At the very least, I think his trademark long glowing finger would have made texting a breeze - and, gratefully, a silent one at that.
POINTS to REMEMBER on MOBILE PHONE USE:
* When in the company of others, it's best to simply send a short TEXT, rather than make or take a call.
*Consider the CONTENT of your impending conversation before making or taking a call. For example, if the rapper 50 Cent was calling and you're having afternoon tea with Grandma, it's really not going to be the time or place to be talking about pimps and ho's. Similarly, if your Grandpa's ringing and you're at a death metal convention, he's really not going to appreciate the soundscape, and neither will your circle of friends as you try desperately to repeat the things you've said over the noise.
*Move AWAY from others if you absolutely must make or take an urgent call.
